Image scanned by Erik. Please e-mail for usage.

If you live in the New England area, Atlanta, Michigan, New Jersey, New York or Pennsylvania look for ALL the Power of the Force action figures near you to be packaged with REAL FALLING EWOK ACTION soon. It will be an experience...

I have received lots of feedback about this page already. In no way am I saying that my opinions are right(even though they are) or that the ewoks really suck(they do). It is strictly my OPINION. I will agree, they did save all of our heroes, and if it wasn't for them, the rebellion would have been pretty screwed, but they still sucked big time. The whole idea of Jedi is very convincing; a primitive society overpowering an extremely high-tech society. But the way it's presented in the movie isn't good enough for me to accept that a bunch of puny, ugly, smelly, goofy-looking furballs could defeat the empire. I do realize that stormtroopers couldn't shoot a damn thing, but there's so many of them that a few ewoks with small rocks couldn't have much effect on them. That's one of the reasons I hate them. The other reason is that they were originally supposed to be wookies. That would have been so much cooler. But no, George needed something that would appeal to the younger audience that would buy the ugly stuffed animals and all the other crap with ewoks on them. That's all the ewoks became, some stupid commercialized thing. And that, my friends, is why they suck as much as they do. The biggest reason they appear in Jedi is because of money, not because someone felt that they really SHOULD be in the trilogy. What good is that? Yup, that's what I thought...

I have some good pictures to add to this page, but the files are way too big and they're not loading. I'll try to get them up soon. Be patient!!

Welcome to the page where I get to complain about ewoks, people loving ewoks, ewoks ruining one of the best trilogies ever, etc. They just plain SUCK. And they really aren't that cute. Have you taken a close look at some of them? First of all, they obviously don't have dentists. And did anyone think it was wierd that they were about to eat our wonderful heroes until C-3PO(Luke) stopped them? They're friggin' savages. Oh sure, they're cute, hey let's join them and eat a biker scout or two. I have no idea where this section is going, but if you like ewoks, I suggest you don't go on.

If you really have the urge to off some ewoks right now, go to the BEST ewok hating page where you can really do some damage!! Click HERE(link no longer exists) to go to Michael's Star Wars Homepage! (Hint: check out the Ewok Safari!!)

So I guess now is a good time to tell you about REAL FALLING EWOK ACTION. Ok, bare with me on this one as I tell you a story. Your ship has just crashed on this crappy little forest moon of Endor. Your ship is wrecked and it doesn't seem like there's a normal civilization anywhere. You start walking through the woods; the tall trees, the thick bushes and undergrowth around other fallen trees, you hear the sounds of birds and other animals chirping or whatever they do in the background. Then all of a sudden you hear this nasty, high pitched scream and quickly turn around to see this furry little mound falling from a tree. It makes a glorious WHACK as it's head bounces off a rock and then THUMPS as it comes to a rest on the ground. You just experienced REAL FALLING EWOK ACTION. Now doesn't that sight make your entire year? You could be stuck on this damn furry-freak-ridden planet the rest of your life as long as you could see those damn things splat all over the ground. Ok, you had to be there. My friend and I thought it was very funny at the time. You're probably getting ready to hit the back button and get out of my site. WELL DON'T. There will be plenty more ewok bashing from now on...stay tuned.

E-mail me at: erik@dianoga.com