Why Boba Fett is the Biggest Shit Eating Whore in all The Galaxy.

written by contributing asshole abe

Ok listen you fanboys know nothing. Boba Fett did not do a damn thing in all three movies. No listen to me, sit down and actually watch the movies… see Boba Fett actually did nothing.

All you fanboys, excuse me fanpeople, run around and talk about how cool Boba Fett is, what a bad ass he is, how skilled he is, how he can all sorts of kick ass. But if you watch the movies the ONLY thing Boba Fett is skilled at is standing around in armor.

His only accomplishment is tracking a space ship that doesn't have hyperspace ability. Even if we establish this as a major accomplishment, he still needs Darth Vader and a whole bunch of stormtroopers to trap our rebel friends. Then what does Boba Fett do? Stand around. What does he do in Jedi? Stand around and get bitch slapped by Luke. When they put Bobba Fett in a New Hope what did they Have him do? What Boba Fett does best: stand around.

Hell Admiral Peit does more than Boba Fett does.

Boba Fett is the king of dumb ass fairies in cool armor who like to stand around. Those cardboard cut outs of Boba Fett you can buy in stores might as well be the real thing.

Now I know what all you fan people are about to say… "But in Tales of the Bounty Hunters and in Dark Empire…" Well SHUT UP, because fan fiction is useless and means nothing. They don't even have any continuity, and the next two eposioes are going to rewrite Boba's history making all Boba fan fiction Null and void. So do me a favor and stick your head down the toilet and flush because I do not have time to give all you fanpeople swirlies. Besides did you ever read my fan fiction story where Boba Fett shoves a light saber in and out of his ass all day and that night cuddles up alone in bed a cries himself to sleep because he just wants to be held. Bet you that one didn't factor into your top ten reasons Boba Fett is so cool list.

Face it you legions of Boba Fans, the guy did nothing. I don't care if you run around saying golly gee wiz Boba Fett sure does look cool, because he does. But if any more of you start talking about how Boba is such a great bounty hunter and can kick anyone's ass I will find you and personally find a way to break all laws of space time and reality to drop you in the saclac pit's stomach so you can find out just how bad ass Boba Fett's rotting corpse is.