Why Jango Fett is the biggest shit eating whore in the galaxy.

written by contributing asshole abe

After the disappointment of episode 1 I have been avoiding episode 2 news as much as possible. Now I know you fan boys are immediately going to say that I can’t say anything bad about Jango fett since I don’t know anything about him, but I say I know as much about Jango Fett a you know about Boba fett. That’s right we don’t know crap about Boba Fett that’s cannon, and that hasn't stopped you dumbasses from writing book after book, making up shit about him, and jerking off daily about how cool he is. So given that you have set the precedent I feel quite confident in being able to explore the truth behind Jango Fett, and expose him for the lame ass pansy he is.

Here’s what we know about Jango Fett; One: Boba Fett is a Jango clone; two: Jango Fett is killed by a Jedi in eposide 2. Really the first bit of knowledge is all we need to know that Jango sucks. We know that Boba Fett sucks (read my article on Boba Fett here for proof, I don’t have the time to bother with it here) and since Boba is a clone of Jango, Jango must suck. It’s simple genetics.

In this light we at least see that Boba isn’t responsible for being such a whore, that the fault lies with Jango and the fact that the genosians have a poor donor screening process.

But the fact that Jango Fett is killed in his first appearance further supports that he sucks, once again when the Fett family faces any competition they fold like the little whining bitches that they are. Jango takes a break from stealing school kids lunch and decides that he’s bad ass enough to take on some jedi. The Jedi proceed to hand Jango Fag his head literally. I guess that the only positive thing I can say about Jango… at least he doesn’t scream like a little bitch when he dies like his clone Boba did. However that may be due to the fact that his head is separated from his torso.

So fan boys, Jango will continue, or is it proceed the family legacy of standing around and dying like a little bitch.